I'd say your Rich White Guy problems are getting the best of you. For every successful person here, there are a thousand* of us who are obsessively checking reddit, facebook, reader, and email. You need to take control of your thoughts. Your brain has finite resources. If you use it to mostly think about all your failure and all the bad stuff, there won't be anything left to do anything good.
1) do something that makes you break a sweat EVERY DAY.
2) Go do something and take some pictures, then write about it. Even if it is just a short walk down a plain street. Find something about it that's interesting and think/write/capture it. This solves 2 problems. Now you're producing something and you're paying attention to what's going on outside your head.
3) Take a look at everything you accomplish in a day. You're less of a loser than you realize.
* - making up numbers as I go.
I wish I had more upvotes just for "do something that makes you break a sweat EVERY DAY." Even though it doesn't directly affect any of your issues except possibly the weight problem, I've found nothing that so reliably keeps my mood up as regular exercise. Preferably outside.
For the past couple months, I've been running a few miles every day. It really does feel good, and it's the right kind of addictive; if I have to skip a day or two for some reason, I don't feel as good, physically. My new baseline is healthier and better-feeling than it used to be. (Plus, this habit caused me to lose weight to the point where I went down a shirt size.)
The key word here is habit. You have a finite amount of willpower, so if you want to live right, you've got to make habits. When you write code, you split complexity into functions so you don't have to think about its implementation details; you just have to remember what the function does, so your mind doesn't get overloaded. Habits are similar, and just as essential. When I run, I don't make a decision to go out and do it; I just think "Oh, it's time for my daily run," and I start running. Trivially easy.
(But yeah, if you're looking for a specific habit, breaking a sweat every day is a great one.)
Thanks; I think this is a similar point to someone who was saying "Maybe you've had it too easy." I swear that I get exercise... ;-) The short walk down a plain street is more difficult for me to understand... what does it really change?
I took my 7-year-old son hiking a couple of weeks ago. He's very much a city kid, and has gotten far too used to constant technology and stimulation. I wanted to get him out in nature.
When we first started walking, he was annoyed and didn't want to be there. He shuffled along, staring at his feet, and kept whining "Can we go back yet?" (we'd gone maybe a quarter mile on flat grass when this started). I suggested he look up at the things around him instead of at his feet, because there's a lot of cool stuff to see. He glanced around, and nearly yelled, "No there ISN'T! There's just... this!"
A few minutes later an eagle flew by above us and I pointed it out, and suddenly he got excited. Then we saw a harmless snake in the path and chased it so he could see how it moved. Then we stopped and skipped rocks in the nearby river. By the time we made it back to the beginning of the trail an hour later, he was full of energy and running around, and yelling "Mom! Mom! Guess what? We saw an eagle, and a hawk, and three snakes, and there was a fish in the river..."
Walking down the street is very similar to that. There are all kinds of things to see around you that go unnoticed so much of the time. You could walk down that same street every day going to and from work, but chances are you're focused on what's at the end of it. Taking a walk with no specific purpose is a completely different animal. You have to find purpose along the way, so you start looking around you for interesting details. Maybe there's a cool bar tucked into the alley that you never saw. Maybe there's a crazy graffiti mural on the next block over that you can take pictures of. Maybe there's a hot girl at the bus stop with whom you can make friends. Maybe there's something as simple as a happy dog wagging his tail and smiling at you that could brighten your day.
You might find a fresh perspective on a small corner of your life... but once it starts it tends to spread quickly.
+1 to paying attention to your surroundings, and making sure you maintain joy and fascination in the small things. I think it's something that many if not all adults could learn from, and it's something that kids are great at teaching us.
>The short walk down a plain street is more difficult for me to understand... what does it really change?
It changes you. What wasn't said is that during that short walk down the street you need to leave all your devices and gadgets at your house. Then, simply walk down the street and observe. Be in that moment of walking and focusing on all that is going on around you in that very moment.
It sounds easy, and is a very zen thing to do but is a lot harder than you think. My mind is always racing with everything that needs to happen so that it's easy to become vapor locked. I take a walk outside and focus on feeling the warmth of the sun, the sounds, the visuals and everything that I need to do simply unfolds in front of me. It's hard to explain, but works.
1) do something that makes you break a sweat EVERY DAY.
2) Go do something and take some pictures, then write about it. Even if it is just a short walk down a plain street. Find something about it that's interesting and think/write/capture it. This solves 2 problems. Now you're producing something and you're paying attention to what's going on outside your head.
3) Take a look at everything you accomplish in a day. You're less of a loser than you realize. * - making up numbers as I go.